It really is a momentous occasion. Unprecedented, in fact. This is a big day, a big day indeed - the first ever Christanzalia. (That’s Christmas in Konstanz for Team Australia).

There were no holds barred when we stormed the supermarket early this morning in search of much sought-after supplies. Not willing to brave the age-old battle between turkey, inexperienced kitchenhands (us) and the most disgusting oven the world has ever seen (that in our residence hall) we settled for a roast chicken. Didn’t hold back on anything else, though, no indeedy - we’re talking fresh cream puffs from the bakery at two euros a pop, none of that frozen 79 cent rubbish.

After careful deliberation we select Lozz’s kitchen as the scene of our roast because the cleaning ladies have allegedly made an appearance there at some point in the last five months and, shockingly, it’s equipped with slightly more than one rusted pot with broken handle.

Our white plastic Christmas tree with only two of a dozen flashing lights in working order is undoubtedly tacky but erected with love and a liberal helping of vodka - hey, it’s cold out. With the classic Mariah Carey Christmas Anthology in the background, we whip up a meal unparalleled in the history of the world, providing you’re not fussy about soggy vegetables and solid gravy.

Merry Christmas. Oops – Christanzalia, that is.