1. Woke up this morning in a bed wide enough to sleep three Chinese families and assorted cattle, in a bedroom so big you have to shout across it.

A quick peep out the window – floor-to-ceiling, mind you – revealed a terrace above us and pool below surrounded by stone lions and lazy chairs. Wilken’s old man being, very conveniently for us as it turns out, the German general-consul in Guangzhou, China, we are staying in a monstrous, luxury compound complete with aforementioned stone lions, cavernous foyer, huge iron gates and flagpole with Germany’s black, red and yellow stripes big enough to use as curtains. For very big windows. There are water coolers in every room – I’ve yet to count all of them – and massive, ornate-looking carpets, though I’ve got a mind to point out that rugs usually live on the floor.

Breakfast (which is actually lunch, because we’ve slept in and will blame it on jet lag arrives by way of delivery man on bicycle from the nearby clubhouse, which is right by the gym, which is right by the pool – the other pool – which is right by the tennis court, so I’m told.

Afterwards, Wilken hauls out a folder thick with business cards, which will be our tokens to getting around for the next two weeks as few people can say more than “you buy, vely nie” in English. Taxis are so cheap (no more than a few bucks for five hundred laps of the city) that we don’t plan to try our hands at public transport. Unadventurous perhaps, but as I discovered last night, riding in a taxi here is electrifying enough.